There is so much going on, that I almost don't know where to begin. Most important things first, our Bubbe (My Mom's mother, my grandma) and her health. Almost a couple of weeks now, she was having trouble breathing at home and was gasping for air. They called the rescue squad and had her taken in where they admitted her and then later took her to CCU (Critical Care Unit) or what I am used to calling it, ICU. Her health is a balancing act. Any of you who have dealt with someone being seriously ill knows, how delicate and balanced your body really needs to be. If she has to much fluid, it puts pressure on her heart and not enough, dehydrates her and so on... She was doing better a few days ago. She's been off and on a kind of CPAP machine that goes in the mouth to give her a break. Lately, she has been going into respiratory distress. This is really putting a huge strain on her body. She has been in pain and is scared. My Mom is very protective of her. My grandfather (who was AWESOME) passed away 9 years ago in March. While my Mom's only sibling, passed away around 13 years ago. So it's just my Mom and Bubbe that are left from their original family. My Bubbe has always been great. I don't think she's ever had one enemy in her entire life. She is always wondering how everyone is doing and even when she isn't smiling, she still is. I used to call her and tell her all my problems and when we'd visit, we'd stay up late and watch The Golden Girls together. When Eli was alive, she threw her whole self into loving him. He knew it too. We rarely talk on the phone anymore, since it's so hard for her to hear. When we go and visit, she just lights up. She loves the kids and has been trying hard to get Aria to play with a doll that she has had for over 50 years. This doll was something I had wanted to play with as a child, but never was allowed to. But Aria is allowed, how is that fair, LOL! I am worried. I know that she can't live forever, but my Mom will be lost with out her. We just need more time to make more memories. Bubbe loves everything and appreciates every second, to the fullest. She's been scared and I hate to know that she's scared. We've been sick and not allowed to come down. Today I am thinking I am just going to go down anyways. I'll just be sure to gown up and put a mask on. Please pray that she gets better, we just aren't ready yet. I know it's G-d's time, but I am praying He'll give us some more. Please pray for my Mom, she has had the Flu HIB (she just found out yesterday) while all this has been going on. Instead of being at home, sick as a dog, she has been up with my Bubbe. It's been a nightmare and I know she is drained beyond belief. She doesn't even have a cot to sleep on, instead she has been sleeping in a chair. Except for my dad coming in for a couple of hours, she has been the only one there with her. I want so much to help, as I remember what it is like being in the ICU and it's very hard to be alone and so worried not knowing what will happen next. So please pray for a miraculous recovery.
On to some not so important news. I have Seth's permission to post my next bit of news. On Thursday he is going in to get clipped (if you know what I mean). We have scheduled this appt. several times, but it seems to keep on getting put off by other things. After much discussion we have decided it's time. We have been through so much and have 4 beautiful children. We really want to be able to give our kids the attention that they need and financially be able to provide for them. It's a hard decision. We've spent so many years trying to have kids, that I almost don't know how not to! Seth is 110% ready, me, I am about 95%. It's hard when you have so many issues going on and then seeing other people getting pregnant with such ease. I found it difficult to be happy for others, when we wanted kids so badly and couldn't. Now, I don't have that envy bug and I can be totally happy for people when they do get pregnant. I love that! Since meeting Seth, I have wanted a larger family. We kind of do, but to most on lookers we have 2 kids. I feel so blessed to have the ones I do. Seth has said if we really want more later, we can look into adoption. I love the idea, as there are so many kids out there who have no one to love on them. The only thing I worry about is how to financially come up with the money to adopt. But if G-d wants us to do it, He'll make a way. So for now, it looks like the chapter in our life of having kids, will be over. Every ending has a new beginning. I must admit, there is a part of me that is a little sad. I loved being pregnant. There is so much more than that, but that's the shortened version. I think I am still trying to convince myself, maybe it's just a woman thing to never feel done???
Isaiah is home for winter break. Aria has not been liking him intruding on our usual routine. One minute they are best buds and then the next, they turn into territorial animals! They both are excited about Christmas. Isaiah has really been so interested in the bible and Jesus. Seth actually caught footage of Isaiah holding a glass of water and a carrot while saying "this is my blood spilled for you..., and this is my body...." Yep, he was preforming communion. I really don't know whether to laugh or be horrified. He asks tons of questions and seems to soak everything up into that sponge, called brain, of his. No, he doesn't think he is Jesus, in case you are wondering. Aria has been waking up almost every night. I think she has been having nightmares. I pull her into bed with us for about an hour and immediately as soon as she is in my arms, she goes to sleep. She is reading everything! But still loves Maisy. I tried ordering a movie on line and got ripped off royally. The one time I didn't check to see if it was legit and wham! We had to cancel our credit card and it has put a damper on Christmas. Oh well, Christmas isn't about gifts anyways. Would you believe that they sent me an email today say it was coming with a false tracking #? The nerve!! I don't know how they sleep at night? Seth is still working and we are praying that business picks up. We are still contemplating starting a business, but realize how much of a gamble it really is. So we have to pray some more. There was more I had to say, but my mind is blanking out. I haven't been sleeping well and it seems to really be affecting my memory. If anything of what I say doesn't make sense, now you know why!
I am still looking forward to Christmas and the New Year. I am praying for a year of happy endless possibilities. G-d has really opened our eyes to so many things, I can't say I understand it all, but I am grateful. I am praying for a year of joy, peace, and happiness. Aw nuts, the kids are at it again, I'll update soon....
Please continue to keep the Quist family in your prayers!
No comments:
Post a Comment