Decisions

I know I haven't posted for a while. I have had some health issues come up and was to tired to post. Even this will be a bit brief. I wanted to ask for some extra prayers. I have a test on Monday at the U of M. We have been trying to get a hold of my doctor all week and to get some answers as well as lab results. They should have already had the labs (to determine if I am malnourished) so that we can try and figure out our next step. On the hard days, I just want a feeding tube. It's overwhelming and causes a lot of anxiety to try and even hover at the weight I am at. On the good days, I feel I can do it on my own. We found out they will not do a Jejunal tube until after more testing at the end of April. So that the leaves only the dreaded core pack or Dub Hof. I can't even stand a strand of hair being stuck in my throat, let alone a giant tube up my nostril and down my throat. I am praying for a clear confirmation on what to do. I want to be healthy for my family and either way poses issues. The core pack is normally done for people after surgery and they are normally pretty well sedated. The nurse a while back urged me that it is not what I want to do. I am torn. Supposedly, the office is going to call back tomorrow (although we hear that a lot) to set up the procedure. It has seemed like the right thing to do, until now. I had a really, really bad day yesterday, but today has been wonderful. Would you please pray for wisdom on both our parts as well as the doctor's for what to do. Also for peace. This is a huge decision, since I'd have to have this in for a while, I can't just pull it out whenever I want. I didn't think this would be so hard to decide. I'd appreciate all prayers, thank you.