Little Guy

Isaiah finally started school this past week. He has eagerly been anticipating the huge step of entering the 1st grade. It blows my mind how fast he is growing. It won't be long before he is taller than me, in fact his feet are almost as big as mine! He loves his school and is eager to get up early in morning. Seth has been waking him up and is able to see him before he goes to work. Isaiah is just loving it! I used to be like he is, a night owl/early bird. Now I am just a night owl that is trying to recapture the early bird in me. So far I have failed to catch the worm. Seth keeps on reminding me not to get to discouraged, that it takes a while to change a habit (let alone one I have been utilizing for several years) to get back into the swing of things. One of the huge obstacles that I have been dreading, the germ factor. Sure enough, it has reared it's ugly head. You have to understand before Eli, germs were not even on my mind. Now that I have gastroparesis, it has really messed with my immune system. So what used to be a fear, is now truly a huge issue. I am still trying to recover the pounds that I had gained and then lost with the shingles. I had worked so hard to gain those pounds and was actually starting to feel glimmers of energy! Needless to say, I have been feeling extremely down. Physical health really does impact mental health. I noticed Isaiah had been coughing a bit on the first day of school, I just attributed it to allergies. By Thursday I noticed him looking a bit disheveled. I kept on trying to tell myself it was probably just the lack of sleep and that he'd be fine. Yet deep inside I felt "the twang." I believe every Mom has this. You know that feeling? Something isn't right and yet you just can't put your finger on it but it just digs at your insides? This week had been really hard on me, so I have been really looking forward to Friday. I woke up to find Isaiah looking like a train wreck. I had asked Seth if I could keep him at home, but Seth felt I was over reacting. Reluctantly, I sent him off to school. My mother guilt set in as I realized I had sent him in shorts (mind you knowing he wasn't feeling good) and it was pretty cool outside. Then the phone rang. I thought it was Aria's school calling to set up a get together and it didn't even register when the secretary was trying to tell me to come get Isaiah. I actually was puzzled and had to ask her what was going on. She told me that he was running a fever and I felt my blood run cold. Yes, I know for you seasoned mothers, this is just every day life. For me, selfishly it's a health issue. Simple illnesses are knocking me on my tush. On top of that, Isaiah is a tough cookie to care for when not feeling well (his future wife has her work cut out for her) and last night, was not good. We thankfully were able to get him into the doctor's office the same day. Seth thought I was nuts, since he figured it to be a simple cold. Little did either of us realize, he wasn't able to fully take a deep breath. The doctor tried several times to take a deep breath when they realized he has fluid in his lungs. Long story short, our nebulizer is running full force. So he is now on 2 steroid treatments and we are pooped out. He was pretty much inconsolable last night and kept on screaming. We felt so helpless to see him curled in ball, his face was ghostly pale and his little chest was retracting with each breath. Mind you, he normally seems so big to me. Last night, he turned into our little guy, just helpless. We prayed over him while running back and forth with each breathing treatment and supplies. Aria was so upset that we cut her off from playing with him. Today he seems to be a little better than last night, but still is no where near himself. We are asking for prayers that he'd heal from this quickly. The doctor has orders for back up if we run into issues and I am praying we won't need them. I know it sounds silly, he's a healthy kid but my thought's always go to the "what if's?" Some may say it's a waste of energy, but I think for those who have walked in similar situations as us know, well we just think differently. It doesn't help that this had hit his breathing so hard. I don't think our kids will ever comprehend the magnitude of our love for them. Also for prayers for the rest of us. Seth and I are exhausted and the stress hasn't helped us any. I am praying for strength, courage, and energy, with a huge dose of peace. We appreciate all of your prayers. Aria is supposed to start preschool on Monday and frankly, I think she might throw us to birds if we don't let her go. They both are such sweet kids and so full of forgiving love. It's amazing to see how the simple issues of life can cause such havoc! Not to mention how precious good health really is. If you have good health, consider yourself doubly blessed, it truly is a treasure. Better get back to the not so little guy. Hopefully my hair doesn't turn white by the end of the year;)