Hope This Makes You Laugh

Do you ever wonder if G-d has a sense of humor??  It is written that we are made in His image.  So that must mean He revels in joy and laughter.   Do you know what I think???   I think He does and here why:

The past few days have been a bit bumpy.  While I have been thrilled to finally be gaining some weight (oh thighs, I will never take you for granted again!) and feeling a joy in my heart that I haven't felt in a long time.   I have been learning to really grasp each moment of goodness and just squeeze the hooty hoo out of it and rejoice!!    I feel as though I have been able to not only get out of my bird cage (seems to be life metaphor) and not just flit around the room, but SOAR!!  

Mind you my idea's of soaring are different then most.  Mine consist of the little things like waking up to sunshine.   Putting on my clothes, doing my make up, oh and my hair so I don't look like and escaped convict on the run!   Some other things are taking a walk, chatting with my kids, spending time with loved ones.  I am sure it all sounds really normal and boring, but for me, they are huge reasons to celebrate!  I don't want to miss a minute and I can't get enough.  I feel as though I am getting a second chance on life and I want absorb every glorious moment (cue musical crescendo with full band and orchestra!) and some day even learn the Viennese Waltz to dance through life with grace and fluidity.   To not miss a step, but instead glide through life with a long flowing gown and my Husband dressed in a tux, gliding right along with me (sigh).

(Record player scratch) But alas, reality has a way of stepping in.  Which brings from gliding to bumpy.  We had an awesome birthday party for the kids.  It went beautifully and we had around 50 guests!  I wanted so much for the kids to be encircled by those who had pretty much carried us through this past year.  Behind the smile and the chatter, really I was struggling to get through.

The way I feel varies from day to day.  The biggest thing I have made a point to do is most of the time to focus on the good.  So if I am feeling blech, I keep on going and I smile as much as possible.   There is more good that goes on in a day than bad, for the most part.  So I have been trying hard to hold onto that mentality so that I can honor G-d and not complain so much. 

But there are those day when I am utterly and wholly human and I collapse.  Yesterday and today have been one of those days.  Before you think I am looking for a pity party, that ship has sailed.   Pity has gotten me nowhere, instead hope and humor have become my companions.   Sure I vent to my Hubs (poor guy, He deserves badge!) and to my very dearest friend (you know who you are;)) and of course, there is my main man, G-d (all the good stuff is His!) who hears it all, sees it all, knows it all.  Yep, they have seen me yell, cry, ugly cry (yes, there is a difference), whine, complain, moan, mutter, shriek, well you get the picture....


Yesterday I got the wind knocked out of me as I am fighting an infection.  The whole medication scenario enters the conversations as I weigh out pros/cons.   I have had this infection for a while but have been putting it off in the hopes it might go away, but then it gripped me and slammed me to the floor.  A fever snuck up on me and then the endless game of it's too hot, no too cold, no too hot..... played on.   I can't remember that last time I popped in a movie and just rested on the couch as I counted down the minutes before Seth got home.   

He finally showed up and I stumbled up the steps to my bedroom and longed for the mattress to just absorb my misery.   All I can say as I was coming back into the bedroom and I thought to myself, where is Seth....   The house was too quiet, he must be up to no good.    Every wife/mother knows that when Mama gets sick, the house falls apart and Daddy probably is letting the kids get away with whatever they want.   I thought to myself, eh, who cares?  Yes, today I will NOT care.  I will crawl into my bed and ask questions tomorrow.  That is until I look out of the window just in time to see a huge branch fall from our window!  

For a second there I thought it was the fever until I looked on the ground and saw it's lifeless walnuts lying on the ground.  Wind storm?  No..  Freak accident?  No...  Why my mind went straight to this is only a testament to we who are of the Nickerson Clan.  SETH IS ON THE ROOF!  Our second story roof has an insanely steep pitch, it is not something you can casually walk on. 

I ran to look out the back window to find evidence of a ladder.   Please no, he wouldn't be climbing on the roof without telling me!  He knows how I worry and I am a huge safety advocate.  It isn't that I doubt his ability, it's just he is the only one working!!  He's my other half, I need him! If he is in a body cast we are in big trouble!   So I marched myself out in the back yard and sure enough I see the extension cord of danger dangling from the 1st story.   I looked at the kids who led me right to him with their mouths gaping open, wide eyed and pointing that Daddy is on the roof!

I didn't see him at first and all I could think was I had heard a really loud thud and had never thought to look and see if he had fallen.  My heart started race, my deodorant quit, and out pop my hubby with a big ole toothy "I got my hand caught in the cookie jar" smile!   I asked him if he had lost his mind and he goes "What?  Your Mom wants the saw back."  Then he pulls the chain saw down.  CHAIN SAW!!  On the 2nd story of the roof (Yes Mom Nickerson, I know you know)  "what if you had fallen and the kids watched their dad fall to his death and I had no clue you were up on the roof?!"   Seth pauses for a second and flashes his dimples, "Huh?  But I didn't!"   Grrrrrraaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!   Can't a woman be sick in peace????  It never fails, I get sick and he gets on the roof, egads!!!

I hope you are laughing by now.  Maybe to some you don't see the issue, but I am a tried and true worry wart.  It shouldn't be Nervous Nelly, it should be Nervous Kelly!   Seth has been confessing to what really happens outside when I thought he was "playing" with the kids.  It turns out all sorts of "work" on the house has been getting done while I thought good ole Dad was riding bikes and bonding.  There has been bonding, just one of these days the three of them are going be repelling off of a highway bridge (ahem Seth, yes, I know you already did that in your younger days).  

If that doesn't get you laughing, this will.   

Which brings us to today.  As I lay huddled in a ball on the couch, doing my best to think happy thoughts, I felt worse.   G-d has a funny way of getting me out of my head.  Seth had come home at lunch to help get the kids situated for some play time while I rested on the couch.   They had their movie, Lego's, and Calico Critter's.  Good to go, right?

Well here is a not so secret, secret about Aria.  G-d sent this cute little bunny into my life for a reason.  She is sheer joy, pure love, and she is also a licker.  This is why I think He has a sense of humor.  He knows I have germ issues, we all do.  I have been making strides to over come this paralyzing not so funny phobia.  It started when Eli was up in the hospital and they would stress EVERY DAY how easy it would be for him to die from germs and then he did.   So it is a well warranted fear that even my  doctors have acknowledged and pointed out how normal my response is.    So I have been trying hard to release my false sense of control little by little.  

The kids go to school, church, they play, but every time we do anything I find Aria licking things!  Licking random walls, objects, I even caught her licking her Barbie's hair!  I get flowers or something that smells good, but hair???    So when we go somewhere I always warn whoever they are with that she does this.  They always blow me off but by the end of their visit they will say "she really does lick!  I found her licking XYZ.."

So today out of utter desperation I figured she would be fine with Isaiah, only I hadn't thought about the Calico Critters.   These things are her favorite!  She loves them, but some things come with the tiny pieces and for her birthday the Camper came with little tiny plates, cups, spoons, the works.  I remember thinking, Hmmmm, would she put this in her mouth?  Nah, we passed that stage.

So I was resting on the couch.  Bozo looks better than I do.  I hear Isaiah scream "Aria has something up her nose!"  Then silence.   Sometimes he'll rat her out when she attempts to do something, so I thought it was a threat.  Then I hear sobbing and Isaiah starts yelling again.  I jump into Mommy mode and assume the position as if I am trying balance on a surf board.  "What?!"   Isaiah slowly opens his door and Aria does the walk of shame with her face beet red.  Her gaze comes up from the floor and meets my eyes.  She begins to sob and shout out nonsense.  I look to Isaiah to interpret.   "Aria put her Calico Critter up her nose!"  Man alive, those things are an inch around, there is no way, I see no chipmunk hanging from her nose.  

I ask Aria as cool as I can, "What is up your nose?"  "The soap, the soap!!"   It clicks, her tiny Calico Critter soap (they also had toilet paper which I though at the time of opening the gifts was a great attention to detail) but alas now her tiny plastic treasure was going to cost me an ER visit.   She looks at me and says, "maybe you should get a flashlight?"  Yes, yes, that by golly that sounds good.  Maybe it would prove that the attempt of the soap going up the nose proved to be unsuccessful and then we would find it on the floor.  Man am I hoping the power of suggestion was enough to freak her out.  Then I looked up her left nostril and their it was, as pink as bubble gum, the bar of soap.  

Now Seth had once long ago taken a pea from her nose by using a straw and sucking it out with his MacGuyver skills.  I am Mrs. MacGuyver so I now knew my work was cut out for me.  I deduced that the straw wouldn't be able to full suction on the tiny bar of soap since it was plastic and about the size of a Tic Tac, which chanced me inhaling it.  So I did what any good Mom would do, I called the doctor.

Normally they tell you a nurse will call you back, but they had me hold.  I explained the situation with all the facts.  She knew how small the plastic soap was so she told me to put my mouth over Aria's,  plug her other nostril and blow as hard as I could.  

Say What?


"Like CPR over the mouth?"  "Yes, put the phone down and I'll hold."   Oooooookay.  I paused as I looked at Aria's sweet face, her nose was runny from all the crying.   Eeeewwww.  I know it's my kid, but really people a fear is a fear.   We never kiss on the mouth.  As a matter of fact I try to hug and kiss on the cheek or the top of the head.  Then I thought, how much therapy is she going to need for this?   Well, it's either this or the ER .  So it's this.

I had to lie her on her back and keep her calm so she didn't snort the soap in.  I had already tried to have her blow her nose, but after repeated attempts, it failed.   So I did what any mother would do.  I had her open her mouth and then she instantly starts to laugh.  I blew, looked at her nostril, nothing.   Blew again,  still nothing.  This time I go to blow and she blows into my mouth and starts laughing hysterically.   I told her not cut it out and can only imagine what the nurse must have thought listening to our conversation.  Then Aria starts to wiggle her tongue in my mouth.  "NOOOOO!!!!  Aria cut it out."  She proceeds to laugh even harder.   I get another big blow in and still nothing.  I go back to the phone and the nurse nervously asks if it is out.  Then she suggests Afrin to reduce and swelling.  I use Afrin.  That stuff is no joke.  I can't taste or smell for a couple of days after using it. "Afrin?  Are you sure?"  She says, "it should be fine." MMMMM not quite for this Mama.

Aria shouts "MOM, it's coming!!"  I ran to her side as I watch the tiny pink plastic soap slowly descend out of her nostril.  We both pause and Isaiah has joined us.  "It's out!!"  We all cheer!!  Followed by "DO NOT put things up your nose ever again!'

"I promise Mama."  She never calls me Mama.   Sigh....  "Okay, go back and play, no trouble okay?"    A long minute passes "ARIA Get that out of your mouth!!  MOOOOMMMM!"   So I give her mad props she didn't put it up her nose, she held true to her word.  Instead, she licked it.   Does G-d have a sense of humor?   I think so. 

I have to say it did jolt me from the focus of how I was feeling and led me to write this instead of wallowing in my misery.  So I say, "thank you Lord for saving us from the ER and thank you for making us rejoice, laugh, and be able to write for others and maybe make them laugh too!"  See, more good things happen then bad;)