A Good Day

As always, I am long over due for an update. I probably have lost half my readers due to my lack of keeping up (oops). However, I am trying hard to be live in the moment with my kids, so the computer has been taking the back burner;) I am still recovering from the botox, for the gastroparesis. They speculate if it works (it's still up in the air how effective it is, and how long it lasts for) it should take a couple of weeks before I really see a difference. Sedation and the injections tend to slow me down for a while, so hopefully soon! This time, I am praying for courage. I really need to add food more variety to my diet. My last injection (back in Feb.) allowed me to introduce bread and some pureed meat, this time, my hope is for more variety, especially veges or some new spices. I so miss Thai, Chinese, and Mexican the most. My sniffer makes up for all of my other issues, so restaurants are really hard for me to go in. I take one whiff and start drooling like a St. Bernard! I have tried to go out once with the family (since it's been almost a year!) I ordered plain chicken. The waiter kept on asking me if I wanted more sides, condiments, fruit and just looked plain perplexed when I didn't. He kept on bringing piles of hot fries that I so desperately wanted to dive into. It got to the point I just wanted to throw the fries on the floor and do the Cha Cha on them. To say the least, it was a difficult experience. I was happy for the kids and Seth, but it pushed me passed my disciplines self. Now with the botox, I am hoping to be brave and try a bite here and there of some new foods, even if it is just one bite. I know it sounds ridiculous, but trust me, one bite can send me into a tailspin. With all the grills lit up everywhere and fresh vege. spreads, it's hard not to cry. Isaiah smelled a grill (turns out this is his first year he can actually smell, due to his allergies) For now, I have to let that go, as I need to focus on getting my calories with the best of nutrition I can and try to gain some healthy weight. In the meantime, the kids are trying all sort of things that I would have loved to indulged with them. They are eating broccoli, red bell peppers ( I think I miss these two the most) berries, melon, and now I am trying to persuade them to try avocado! They both are growing fast. They both seemed to have had several growth spurts in the last 6 months. Isaiah is showing quite an interest in swimming. He was mesmerized by the Olympic swimming and immediately said "Mom, someday I want to do that," he sounded so serious. I told him if he practiced really hard, he could, and his eyes lit up like the 4th of July. Thankfully, we have several people that are close to us that have pools, so he has been practicing like crazy. He and Aria are both jumping off the diving board! We have them wear life vests, just until I feel they can swim stronger since they haven't had real lessons. Still, they are having so much fun and that is all that matters! Isaiah is really loving math and is practicing his writing. He loves doing flash cards and is eager to learn. Aria, is growing and becoming more and more fearless. I am thinking she is part monkey, the way she climbs anything and everything. She is reading on her own, and is quite the social butterfly. She is quite the ray of light. We are still waiting to hear back about preschool, which she has her heart set on going. We celebrated Isaiah's birthday, to which Lego's have now been introduced to our household (dramatic sigh). I have to say I am thrilled to see Isaiah using his imagination, but those pieces are so tiny! Aria's birthday is coming up and she is thrilled! I think this is the first year she really understands what is going on. Last year, I was to sick to be able to do a party for her, so we are hoping things go better this year. She loves My Little Ponies and Strawberry Shortcake (the new ones), fairies and princesses. They are a bit different from what I grew up with. The My Little Ponies have a bit to much magic for my taste, but the Strawberry Shortcake is adorable! She is so girly in certain ways, but still will roll in the dirt with the best of them. My health still isn't where it needs to be, but I am praying this year I'll be able to get them both out on more play dates. They both have been so patient and sweet in not being able to really go anywhere, unless I have a doctor's appt, or the hospital. They have seen so much, too much, and I really hope this year is so much better for all of us. We really want to join a small group in church, but it's so hard to know where my health stands and I don't want to join, just to have to quit, yet MISS community! We heard a service this week on the importance of being in community and it plucked at my heart strings. I miss being with friends and just being silly and shooting the breeze! I think it make us better parents too. For now, I am trying my darndest to be in the moment and not think so far ahead. I was talking to a health worker that I go to, who is never seems to be happy with the weather or the gas prices, etc. Believe you me, I think we all need to vent, we all have our good and bad days. This guy is unique. I just looked at him and said, "after having my health take a dive, I'm just happy to be alive. There is always going to money and weather issues, but every day is a gift." I was surprised I even said it. I didn't want to make him feel bad, but even I need the reminder, we can't take a moment for granted. Even when the kids are not obeying, the medical bills keep on coming in, the car is making weird noises, this person is didn't live up to my expectations, etc.... Then you flip on the news and hear about the latest car accident, some person that is fighting for their life, the poverty, well you get the picture, and all of the sudden it hits me, I'm thankful to be alive. Every now and then I get a twang of wishing we could have had more children, especially the last few months, and I am quickly reminded of the two that are running around. I am blessed, they are enough. I still struggle each day with my health issues, some days I just break down from the lack of food and energy and just lose it. I wonder if I'll ever enjoy life again, and as I cry out to G-d, He sends a reminder in unique way each time. While watching so many of my friends be able to go on vacation, we have had to stay behind. It's been hard, as I'd love to take my kids up to the lake, go camping, or just travel, but for now we have to stay close to home. We were offered the opportunity to stay at my in-laws house to house sit! So I have now dubbed it, our "staycation!" Even though Seth is still working (at least he has a job!) it's just fun to pretend it's a hotel and hang out. It's just a nice change of pace. My kids love the library and Isaiah is trying hard to master his scooter, while Aria is practicing her bike tricks. They know I am slow, yet they are thrilled just have me cheer them on at each new bit of progress. I just love being included and when I am having a good day, to be able to participate. My new favorite thing? Errands! Sounds silly, I know, but for me, it's progress to be able to pick up my own prescription, or just picking up bread! It's the little things that make my day. It's going to be an adjustment for Isaiah being in school full time. I know he is ready, but it's all just happening so fast. I remember being a kid and always hearing my parents say, "enjoy where you are now, because before you know it, you have to grow up." Isn't that the truth? I find myself starting out sentences with "kids these days.." Oy. Yesterday, I had a busy day and I felt useful, Thank you Lord. I felt useful.... I encourage you to do what I struggle with, living in the moment. Try not to think about all that lies ahead, just be. That's my challenge for myself each day, but this week especially. The summer has flown by fast, so I am hoping to soak up some sunny rays and just chill out (gasp!). So, that is my update for now. I love boring!! The kids are playing are content just to play with us. Before long they'll be grown and have their own lives. It's amazing to hear what my 94 year old Grandmother loves to talk about, her kids being young. It never ceases to amaze me how much she remembers with quite the details (I wish I had known while I was growing up) and you can just see her light up. Her childhood and her kids childhood, interesting. I get overwhelmed with all the technology that we have to keep up with and sometimes I feel like things are just so complicated to make life easier? Oh well, I'm rambling. Today we had rain, with the sun playing peek a boo, it's just all so beautiful. It really is. We appreciate all of your support and please keep us in your prayers. I truly believe one of these days I am going to announce I'm better! Until then, please keep us in your prayers. Watch, pray, believe, and be amazed.