Weeks to come

It's been quite a while since I last updated, so here it goes. I had a really rough couple of weeks which caused great pain and hindered my eating. The tough thing with the digestive issues that I am dealing with, is they vary. I have cut out all of the "triggers" to the best of my ability, but still I am learning that it is quite unpredictable. I used to think it was just stress or eating a trigger food that would cause it, but that isn't always the case. I am learning each day to hand my fear over to G-d and to let the "what if's go." Notice I am saying, each day. Let's face it, each minute! Some days I am more cooperative than others;) Thankfully G-d knows I am a stubborn one and allows me grace to try and try again. This weekend was absolutely wonderful. I do a lot better with Seth being around. He is the yin to my yang. When I start to spazz out, he balances me and brings me back to the truth of the situation. This weekend was the most I have done in almost a year!! I went to the mall! I had to get some summer clothes. This proved to be a task in itself. I tried the women's petites, but still couldn't find my size without paying and arm and a leg. So I did what I never thought I'd do, I shopped at a juniors store. I was so embarrassed at first. All I could think about is, what other people were thinking about me being in there. After I realized that they had my size, I had to put it out of my mind and just let it be. I was able to get some cute skirts (which I LOVE skirts and dresses, it makes me feel so dainty) and a few dresses at a fraction of the cost of what I would have payed in my usual store. The other exciting thing I was able to do, was walk around my block! I haven't been able to do this in ages. The kids went at my pace and were pretty excited to be able to stretch their legs. By the end of the weekend, they were on their bikes, while we followed behind. I am praying soon I'll have the energy to ride my bike, but I keep on reminding myself to be patient. The sun felt amazing and really lifts my spirits. We pulled out the kiddie pool, slip and slide, and the sprinkler! The best part was seeing them play. To see them laugh and squeal while splashing around was truly a blessing. They just couldn't get enough of it. Among all of this I have been experimenting with new foods. The latest add in is pizza sauce. I have horrible acid reflux, so I have never been a tomato fan. Yet I could not stop craving it. I can only eat about a teaspoon of it with some bread, but it's a huge step! I have even mixed in with a scrambled egg and some fresh chopped basil and oooh la la!! It sings! I am really learning to appreciate herbs and simple seasonings like a sprinkle of salt. Also, through the encouragement of some fellow GPer's I got to try macro bar. They are kind of like a protein bar, but not nasty. This bar will allow me to be able to go somewhere longer than two hours without panicking that my levels are going to go out of wack, so this too is quite amazing. I have only tried one flavor, since most aren't GP friendly, so experiment, experiment. The biggest thing that has happened was I got to have a dream come true. I was finally able to baptized in front of my church! Honestly, I didn't think I'd be able to make it even all the way up to the morning of. I had a horrific week (the enemy trying to get in my way, in my opinion) leading up to it, but by the grace of G-d, He got me there!!! I was thankful for all of the support along the way, between family, friends, and our church community at Mars Hill! I'm kind of glad that G-d doesn't allow us to see the future, I'd be to afraid to do anything. I admit it, I might seem like a pit bull, but really I can be a bit yella' at times. We have a crazy couple of weeks ahead of us that I am asking for prayer. Starting at 8 PM I have to start fasting for a test that I am doing locally. It starts at 8 AM and goes for 3 hours. I am asking for prayers that my blood sugar behaves and that I can complete the test. I am asking for prayers that everything would come back normal. They are still trying to rule out other causes and this one is kind of a biggie. Next week will be insane. Starting on Monday I have an EGD ultrasound scheduled to check out my pancreas and gallbladder. I am asking for prayers that this would be done with no side effects and come back normal as well. We then are scheduled to go to U of M on Thursday for possible botox which is done through and EGD as well. I am not keen of the idea of having two EGD's done in one week. With all of the things I have gone through, I have learned the more you monkey around with things, the more issues. We are praying that G-d would grant us the wisdom to know if we should postpone. Then, on Friday we meet with U of M's Dr. H for my results of all the testing, including the 9 hour menomatry. I am praying everything comes back normal. In my mind that might indicate that things might be healing, although I don't know how the medical world views it. As always prayer that I'd be healed and for safety as we go through all of this. All this testing gets my anxiety going which does me no good. School will be getting out soon and I will a Mama to a 1st grader! How crazy is that?? We applied for Aria to get into a free preschool and are praying they accept her, with all the craziness going on. I can't thank you all enough for your support. I'll try to keep up a little better with all of the chaos going on in the next few weeks. I'm really praying I can remain peaceful, since I get ants in my pants quite a bit. In the meantime, watch, pray, believe, and be amazed.