Heat!

Goodness, gracious! Can you believe, fellow Michigan people, that just last week we were wearing warm coats? We have now traded in our parkas for sunscreen! While I worked yesterday, Seth smartly installed our air conditioners back into their rightful places, called the window. I am so relieved they are still working as this little house likes to bake in summer. The kids have gotten to experience our latest sprinkler, which consists of little arms that move around. Isaiah loves it to no end, where as Aria had enough. I think it's safe to say, she is a pool wader and not a sprinkler hopper. I am really excited about this latest food change. We are trying to cut out most processed foods. The biggest reason, is my dear sweet son loves to carb load. He wouldn't even give fruit a chance. Now we have switched over to whole grain foods, fresh fruits and veggies, low fat cheeses, and very little processed. Although, my baby lady can't give up her veggie straws for dear sweet life! Now Isaiah is embracing the wonderful world of fruit. I admit, I really don't like them much, I'd rather eat veggies. He on the other hand loves strawberries and raspberries. With all of his texture issues, this a huge step! Aria of course, is our little vegetarian. She'd pick carrots and peas over chicken nuggets any day! Tonight we are going to try salmon and quinoa (which is awesome!) We just keep on trying to offer healthy choices. String cheese has now replaced gold fish crackers and whole grain crackers have replaced chips, and so on. I must say, it has put a strain on our budget, but it's health benefits are well worth it. I just with Meijer's would stop having fried chicken wafting through the building, arghh!! Seth just grabs my hand and defers my attention (Lord bless him!) The weather is scorching, so we have now moved our bike rides to the morning hours so we don't melt along the paths. Yesterday, I pulled Aria and Isaiah in the trailer about 2 miles on substantial inclines. Seth followed behind asking "You okay up there? Are you going to make it?" I replied,"Yes, and I can't wait for that spinach, goat cheese, beet, and walnut salad!" As sweat is pouring down my face creating what I like the call, the sweat 'stache. For all you blessed ladies who haven't inherited this wonderfully embarrassing gene, it's where sweat pools above and below your mouth, creating almost a goatee, but mainly a mustache of sweat. This makes for a wonderful ego boost as you run into people. Well, I am looking forward to pools being opened where I can sit a pool of coolness as I exercise. I am determined to get myself into shape if it kills me, okay that's a little dramatic, maybe until it irritates me! We went to a cousin's birthday party on Saturday and had a lovely time out in the woods. We are blessed that he has such amazingly wonderful cousins. I am hoping Isaiah and Aria will have a special bond with them, as they bring such joy to our lives. They are all growing so fast and are so beautiful and smart. I just love watching them play together. It was so fun walking on the trails with them in the woods. Isaiah would run ahead as the kids bounced with delight. You could see all their minds going a mile a minute investigating each thing. Out in the woods, Isaiah ran across a field, not knowing there was creek below and fell in. I would have laughed, but he has no depth perception. This is hard to explain to people. He sees an eye specialist where they do this test to identify it. They explained that he doesn't see things in heights or depth, he just sees it straight across. When he goes down stairs, he'll just walk right off if not for us explaining it. Play ground equipment is very difficult to see him on. Aria knows to be cautious and look around, Isaiah will back up without looking, assuming he won't fall. Sadly, he has. He almost has to memorize the equipment, but even then, he gets excited and caught up in the moment. I was also watching intently to see how he interacted with his cousins. You could tell he really loved being with them, only he'd get fixated on the balls. This is something the doctor had warned us about. Any social situation, we have to give up our time and take it as a learning experience for him. I was sad to see all the other kids playing happily together, while he just would do his own thing. He'd follow the kids, but they'd be doing their thing and he wouldn't know how to join in without doing in a parallel fashion. He has done well with certain kids, so I have to remind myself that the age categories are very different. It's probably more and age issue that I realize, but I still worry. I want him to fit it. I don't want him to feel that he is different, but at the same time, I know we have to be real. If I don't do something now, this could affect him for the rest of his life. He has so much to give and is so loving, I just wish he knew how to join in, you know? I used to think maybe I was over reacting, but after speaking with his doctor, they urged us really to get on track and not back down. I am not a fan of the apprentice, but I saw the end of it yesterday. Holly Robinson Peete was talking about how expensive it is for treating and care for a child with any form of autism. Even in our case, there is little funding and the insurance barely helps. Because it's an issue you don't have a full understanding of, the insurance companies don't want to help. It's crazy, as if you are with any of these children, they are all so brilliant and beautiful and all deserve a chance at live and not be thrown by the wayside, as weird, or the elephant in the room. I remember wondering if Isaiah had this early on and everyone assured me he was fine. While he has a very mild version, it's taxing. I don't know how these other parents with full on autistic kids do it. It's hard on you r social life and your home life. There needs to be more help. I don't know, maybe I need to get into advocating for them. Lord knows we have had plenty of experience with the medical world with Eli and now with Isaiah. But get one thing straight. I love my Isaiah, he is so unique and special. I love his brilliance and he has a heart of gold. One day, he is going to be more successful than I can even imagine. The doctor's have assured us of this. Plus, I don't know if you know this, he is hilarious. We have been blessed with such amazing kids. Well, it's a gorgeous day and I have tons to do. Watch, pray, believe, and be amazed.

Moving along

I have been doing terrible keeping up on my blog. Who knew that things were going to get so busy? I'll first start with a kiddo update. Isaiah is doing tremendously well at school. They have seen such a vast improvement all around. He is now even playing pretend with the other kids, which is a hard concept for most PDD-NOS kids. He loves children and I love watching him interact with them. When we go to the park, he is transitioning so much better. None of the other parents stare anymore, which really says a lot. He and I have been bonding quite a bit this week. I have been trying extra hard to have patience with his repeated questions and to actually try and think like a child. As you know, I am not the typical woman/mom. I never really liked babysitting growing up, I'd rather mow someones lawn or do work with my hands. I never really saw myself having kids, as I wanted to have a high powered career. That all changed when I met Seth. I suppose he tamed my wild heart. Especially after having Aurora, it made my want for children that much greater. But even with Eli, Seth was the one that cuddled and played, where as I was so desperate to keep him alive that I almost became some what clinical. That's pretty much how I have been since then. So I have made a vow to become, more kid like. To let go of the house work, the worry of budgeting, the "keeping up with the Jones" mentality. I have to remind my self to let go of my inhibitions and just enjoy the moments of being silly and not caring how ridiculous I look. So, now I am learning to flap my arms like a bird and run in the back yard, followed by a robot dance, or flying like an astronaut through space. Isaiah just keeps on hugging me and saying "Mommy, I love you so much!" I even have been upgraded to going to Pluto. Before only Grammy was allowed to go (imagination play) but now I get to, which is a huge honor. He is making friends and actually engages in play at the play ground. This has been so exciting to see. He runs up to them and says "hello boy, would you like to play?" Then they talk, and it is so adorable. We also have been sending him to Sunday school at Mars Hill. They have been so wonderful in helping us mainstream him, while accommodating him where he needs it, without making a big deal about it. It's been so nice to be able to sit in the service again. Aria has just gotten her first taste of nursery and really doesn't like it. She cries and then plays "possum" this one particular guy that she seems to have a connection with. But with all this kid exposure we have been constantly sick. Mars has pretty big classes and let's face it, toddler's love to swap spit. So we have already been to the doctor 2x's this week. Aria has a really bad sinus infection, along with croup (which just started late last night). Last week we had one of the worst colds we have had in ages, that I still haven't been able to quite shake. Then I go to wake Isaiah up this morning for school and he couldn't even open his eyes. Yep, pink eye. I have never dealt with it before, so this is a new experience. Obviously, I had to keep him home from school, which made his day. Aria is becoming such a young lady. She mimics every thing I do, whether singing, cleaning, putting on a tea party with her brother, and playing with her kitchen. She's very girly, but definitely has a tom boy side to her. Her new thing is biting. If Isaiah takes anything away from her, she chases him around with her razor sharp teeth to let him know, he has crossed the line. She rarely ever chomps down, but like a wild animal, she has to have something to fend off the predator that dare taketh her tea kettle. Seth has been quite busy with work, which is great. We never know how long it's going to last, but we take it when we can get it. I am loving the landscaping of our lawn. I love working outside and especially mowing my lawn. Maybe it's the OCD in me that loves to watch the lines form as I walk on by. I especially am loving planting flowers. Being that our house is so old, it's so fun to see what a little color can do to make it that much more better. Plus cheaper than focusing on all the inside remodels that need to be done. Seth and I are looking into moving. Right now, the market isn't so good, so we know it's going to take some time. We are trying to come up with a goal. We just feel that we have outgrown this area. I don't know how to explain it, but lately we have just been feeling trapped. We really need to grow in our life experience, and I don't want to just sit around and wait for something to happen. His job has been questionable for so long and it's almost like waiting for the other shoe to drop. It'd be nice to move to another state where it had more economic stability. I've never really fit in with the West MI personality. They tend to be more reserved and keep things in. Me, on the other hand, I say what is on my mind, good or bad, and probably am way to open. I stick out like a sore thumb. It's been 12 years since I first moved here, and I still feel like I am adjusting. So we are really trying to pray that G-d will open some new doors or windows to allow some healthy change come into our lives to help us grow. I must get back to my little munchkins who keep me on my toes. They are getting so big. I had no idea time really would go by so fast. Each moment when they are little like this is so precious. Sorry about not posting any pictures, we are still trying to locate the files to help us to transfer. I will update more as soon as I can. Until then, may you be blessed.

Flowers

I just love spring, don't you? It has to be about my favorite season, especially here in Michigan. The flowering cherry and apple blossoms, the green foliage spreading through the landscapes like wild fire. Days are longer and brighter, and anything seems possible. There always seems to be some mountain to climb or ocean to swim in my daily struggles, but then I step outside and breathe in the fresh air and feel so invigorated. I have been working a part time job, that I do from home. It has been a blessing in the money way, but it's been incredibly difficult in other aspects that I really don't want to get into. Needless to say, my time has been scarce. But that's okay. I have been really learning a lot about myself. I forgot what a hard worker I am. As a stay at home Mom, you really don't get recognized a lot or associated with, as being hard working. Any stay at home Mom will tell you, it's the hardest job that you will ever have. We don't sit around eating chocolate bon bons, and watching soap operas (something I have grown to detest), instead our days revolve around cleaning, cooking, parenting, and little adult interaction. I am not complaining, but honestly, I thought before I had kids that stay at home mom's were lazy. NOT SO!!! If you are doing your job right, you barely have a chance to go to the bathroom without a little fist banging on the door followed by a blood curdling scream. I admit to you, dear fellow friends, I had grown to moan and gripe about being at home. I felt burned out and honestly, a little bored and a lot frustrated. Not to mention, plagued by guilt that I used to sneer at people like me, who took their little blessings for granted. As I began to piece out my day for my job, I felt so bad and missed out on so many hum drum things, that now I coveted. But also I have now realized what a go getter I really am, and I have a huge work ethic (truly people in the past, not so good). I have learned that having kids really kicks your tush into drive mode. My thought isn't so much about wants, but needs. Today we had an appt. for Isaiah and they really felt that Karate would be an excellent source of learning for him. In my mind, I thought, err, but what if he uses it on Aria? HI YA!!!! is what I think of, not learning. But they reassured us that it would build character, respect, socialization, but most of all confidence! Oh how my heart rejoiced! Believe it or not, I have always lacked self confidence. Sure, I have a mouth on me, but when all is said and done, I feel quite insecure. If someone doesn't return my call or seek me out, I can't help but wonder if I offended them in some awful way. While it's good to have social awareness, for me at times, it can be quite destructive. So this was music to my ears. He is progressing wonderfully and has so much potential that they are already planning that he will go to Odyssey of the Mind in 3rd grade (it's when it starts). This is not because he has PDD-NOS. Their are kids that have this, that don't posses large intellect. This is because he is Isaiah. They kept on beating that into our brains. He is a rarity to be treasured, not feared. I worked my tush off with him in our quarantined time and it payed off. I used to feel so ashamed that I smothered him. Today they praised us and reassured us that we are amazing parents. They actually tell parents that they are to over protective or demanding, and the doc said he was so impressed with us. I felt the weight of the world drop off my shoulders, as I couldn't help but wonder if I had been damaging (not that I am perfect, far from it) to his development. We finally have been able to return to church this last Sunday for the first time in a long while, due to needing a helper for Isaiah. We were blessed with a great man to work with him and a church willing to work with us. I'll tell you the truth, things have been a huge struggle. I have felt like I was wandering in the desert, but I refused to lay down and quit. As a Mom, you must not quit. So as I see the beautiful flowers and all the beautiful colors and scents that they bring, I see my life. We are sometimes unable to bud, sometimes blooming our beauty, and sometimes wilting in a season. But whatever the reason, beauty is , was, or will be in our reach. Enjoy the blossoming of our world all around us, because you never know how long you'll have it, but at least you experienced it, and that is a blessing in itself.