The Doctor's Visit

I have been praying so hard for so long, that G-d would show up for this appt. and He did. Dr. Ferrar had me be his last appt. to give me the time I needed and boy did we use it. I have been so upset with him for relaying my diagnosis with pamphlets and then went on vacation, so I didn't know how I was going to feel. He came into the room and and went over my report which deemed the gastroparesis level as moderate. My heart fell, I was praying for mild. He then went on to list all of the treatments and came to the conclusion I am not a candidate for any of them, I felt my eyes water. I finally just blurted out "then what's going to happen to me?!" Seth interrupted and explained that I was not a girl that asked for much, just a good meal. Dr. F's eyes got big as Seth went on to explain how much I enjoy a fine meal. He then said "I take it you loved watching the Food Network?" I said,"I still do, and I want to lick the TV!" I think that is where G-d had him put the pieces together how this has taken away my hobby, I guess you could say. From then on out he went into great detail with each of my 30 something questions, he seemed to laugh at all my quirky comments and even joined in. By the end of the meeting, all but one of his staff had left. He then even interjected realizing how mad I must have been at him for being on vacation. I told him, I wanted to hunt him down as I was that desperate. He apologized and said had he had no idea I was this distraught. By the end of the appt. I asked him if there was any hope. He went through my risk factors of how I obtained this, and I don't have any. I am not diabetic, I don't have an eating disorder, I don't take narcotics, and I didn't even have a virus in the house when I got sick. I had no risk factors, where did this come from? The cleanse? Where? Is this going to get worse and how do I stop it? All he could say is it could be a virus, maybe even the hope that it could reverse itself (LORD PLEASE!) but he has no answers. For some reason that statement, gave me hope. I believe I have been one to have all the weird stuff and this time I will be the one that will weirdly be healed. So, some people might have walked out of that appt. discouraged, but I feel hopeful. It turned out I had judged Dr. Ferrar to quickly and now I am so glad to say he is an excellent doctor. I would recommend him and tell you, he is really personable. I feel blessed. I am believing that G-d will repair this, whether it be tonight or in time. I am asking for prayers. He was surprised to see how much weight I had lost and how fast it came off. I need to gain HEALTHY weight. I have had so many people say "I feel so bad for you, what can I do?" It is so important that I eat at least 1,480 calories a day at this point, or else I will keep losing. That is just to maintain where I am at now. At this point I would settle to maintain where I am right now, but it's hard to eat. After a few bites I feel full and sometimes really sick, other times I am starving and then I'll eat only to find hours later I am pacing to rid myself of the pain. I need a miracle. We only live blocks from Isaiah's school and my dream was when we bought this place to be able to walk my kids to school. I would love for people to be able to call and ask us to come out and play and for me to be able to jump up and get to it! Life is so precious. Did you eat a good meal today? Don't think about those calories, just thank the Lord you got to eat a good meal. Did you enjoy the beautiful weather? Thank the Lord that you have the ability to go outside on your own. Enjoy your life, take notice at every little thing you so easily can do and Praise Him! Don't be foolish like me and see the grass that's greener on the other side, instead rejoice that you have dirt that you can grow your own green grass in! This has been a very tough week, but even in my depths G-d was with me. I had several of my friends find some clothing that they were no longer using for me and for Aria. It was an answer to prayers. He always seems to know where to have a well placed call take place with a friend who just listens. He always seems to send a friend over to come a chat just to brighten my day. He even seems to interject hope in a situation that looks hopeless. While not much changed in my appt. His peace comforted me. I am not out of the storm, in fact I am still in it. We have to be careful now to be able to get me to eat and keep it down. In this storm I see the rain and the lightening, I hear the thunder and my boat is rocking up and down, but I am trying hard to think about the beautiful rainbow that will follow this and calm seas that will lie ahead. I have a ways to go, but I am so blessed to have support, your words, prayers, presence mean the world to me. Especially to be dealing with something so odd makes me feel so outed. I told Seth, "If G-d chastens those He loves, He must really love me." I appreciate all of you, whether we are close or not. Your prayers are not falling on deaf ears and He does answer. Also if you could pray for my family. This is taking it's toll on my dear husband, kids, and our parents. They have been amazing support, but it's a lot to take.I am learning more each day how serious it is when I say I will pray for someone, it is not something I take lightly. From our lips to His ears, there is power in our words. So dear friends, let's pray for healing and wait on the Lord because I do believe He will answer. Watch, pray, believe, and be amazed.